Chicks Dig ...

Chicks dig scars? Nah. One scroll through Facebook early on a weekend morning (before the chicks are awake and deleting emotional, angry, sometimes drunken posts) and you will notice very quickly that chicks dig losers. It's pretty obvious and it's really sad. I think a lot of the time the tenderness that is female clouds our judgment. We see this troubled guy, misunderstood really, and we think we can help him. We, with our charm and pure hearts, can save him. When I was a teen (a long, long time ago in a land far, far away) I heard Dawson McAllister speak at a youth rally. He warned against what he called "Missionary Dating". Missionary dating is dating someone who is not a Christian and justifying it by thinking the relationship will bring that person to Christ. It never seems to work that way. In fact, it usually works the other way, even dating a genuinely good lost person; the "missionary" will be led astray. I've done it and I've watched friends do it, too.

[NOTE: there is a HUGE difference in being kind to someone and extending Christian love & acceptance which we are called to do and dating them. You know it. I know it. Don't go all peace and love and whatever feels right on me.]

I love that quote. It has been attributed to both Maya Angelou and Max Lucado. I really wish that was reality, but I feel that many girls of dating age lack the spiritual maturity for that sentiment. In other words, that seems like a pretty lame plan to a boy-crazy, hormone-driven chick. I totally get it. I mean it wasn't THAT "long, long" ago! So, I have come up with some ways for chicks to recognize the losers. Warning signs to make you stop in the name of love and just think it through!

1. Stop in the name of love if he ever, ever asks you to lie. A person who has nothing to hide will not need to lie and a guy with good intentions will not need for you to lie either.

2. Stop in the name of love if he spends more time inside on the computer or playing video games than outside doing something active. It speaks to his work ethic.

3. Speaking of work ethic, stop in the name of love if he should have a job and doesn't. If he tells you he is looking for a job, but isn't concerned about it or hasn't left his couch in two days he is not serious. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT give this guy any money!

4. Stop in the name of love if he is EVER, EVER, EVER abusive. EVER. He may be truly sorry and he may have a hundred reasons how he just lost control, or how you drove him crazy, or how it will never happen again. It does not matter. Get out, get away and never look back. Pray for him. Maybe one day he will change, let him prove that to the next girl.

5. Stop in the name of love if he is a teenaged father or if he is an adult who pays (or should pay!) child support to more than one woman. I am not judging. Things happen and some choices can't be un-made. I am saying there is a whole lot of drama with the mother, father, child relationship and you really, really need to count the cost.

6. Stop in the name of love if he has tattoos or body piercings that make him un-hirable for a real job (a job that does not need to be supplemented to pay for living expenses). I am all for self-expression, but I am also all for being self-reliant and able to provide for your family.

7. Stop in the name of love if he has bad table manners or is unable to dress for a certain occasion (funeral, wedding, interview) and doesn't seem to care. He may just be rough around the edges, but he also may lack the social skills a person needs to get through life. Think it through.

8. Finally, stop in the name of love if you notice that every fun activity needs to start with or include drinking. I am not a T-totaler by a long shot, but I have noticed that people who don't know how to have fun unless they are drinking are sometimes actually not very fun people.