A New Mattress and More Bras

This past week we were on vacation. Every year we try to get down to the coast. It is our happy place. We love the sounds, the sights, the smell and even the sand. Most people might not enjoy the way we do the beach, but we have a system in place that works for us.

Last year, we did not get the healing we were searching. While we were gone, my husband’s mother had to be moved to an assisted living facility, we were short-handed at work, short on funds, and in general plain old short tempered. I guess, deep down we knew that we were not coming home to good things although I don’t think we could have guessed how the next year would test us. Still, when we left the beach it was like an emotional and physical loss.

Fourteen days after we got back from vacation my mother-in-law passed away. If that weren't enough, there was major drama involving our careers that left us feeling very insecure and my husband broke a tooth that required minor dental surgery. We spent the next weeks facing tough challenges: realizing that selling my husband’s childhood home was our only option, clearing out his mother’s things, working extra to prove our loyalty to our employer, having an estate sale…The estate sale was excruciating. It was emotionally taxing and labor intensive and when it was over, four completely drained adults sat in the floor of an empty house and wept like children. Two days later, we got the call that my husband’s grandmother (the one who helped raise him) had passed away. Another funeral, more sorrow, and more things to treasure all the while painfully aware that the person would be preferred over the things. The process of selling the house and the year of firsts without these beautiful, wonderful women took up the rest of the year. Just when things would start to almost feel normal again, a new thing to face would come along. The same week the sale of the house was final, a sweet cousin passed away and her memorial service was held on the one year anniversary of my mother-in-law’s death.

As vacation time drew nearer I was cautious. We needed rest, renewal and revival, and that’s a lot of pressure to put on a vacation.

We had certainly put in the sweat and tears and now it was time for the sea.

One thing I love about going to the coast is that even though I am there with the man of my dreams, I get a lot of alone time to think and read and write. We nerds really dig that!

Lakota waiting for Mark to get up and play.

On the first morning we were there, I wrote some poetry, which I like, but don’t love. Then, as a life-long list maker finding her center, I also started a list. A list of things I want. At first, the list was very short: a new mattress and more bras. I was struck by how pitiful my desires and limited my dreams had become. See, after a year like we had, you get "gun shy" about hope. This awareness made me a sad, so I pondered and prayed and after a while, I started adding to the list. Now, I am excited about making things happen, exploring new goals, learning, traveling, etc.

So, back to the original two items on my list, (I bet you thought I’d NEVER get this wagon circled back around!) a new mattress and more bras. I really do need those things. I will start saving as mattresses are expensive and I will probably make a trip to the store very soon for the latter. I guess I just find it ironic or humorous or interesting that a year later here I am, still needing comfort and support. (Get it?!?) I am so thankful for each person who has walked with us, prayed for us, cried with us, listened, and loved on us this last year. We can never express what it meant. Lycra and Memory Foam ain’t got nothing on y’all!

And yes, we did enjoy our time by the sea!!!