Stereotyping is a lazy excuse for critical thinking and problem solving...

A group of people feel uncomfortable in certain public bathrooms, and suddenly we need laws that let those people use any bathroom that makes them feel comfortable. This in turn, makes other groups of people uncomfortable and so they speak up and we then call those people names like intolerant and bigot and prejudice. Nothing has really been gained except the two groups are further divided and now everyone is uncomfortable in public bathrooms.

A mentally disturbed young man is welcomed into a church for bible study. For whatever reason, he kills the people who just showed him hospitality and human kindness. No one understands. It doesn’t make sense. Then we find out that this young man had a picture of a Confederate Flag and we decide that every person who has a Confederate Flag is a racist and just looking at this flag on a courthouse lawn may cause these previously sane people to lose their minds and also go on a killing spree. We have the flags removed, and in so doing insult the heritage of another group. Again the two groups are now further divided and people no longer feel comfortable.

            Another mentally disturbed person uses a firearm to do commit horrible, horrible acts. No one understands. It doesn’t make sense. Immediately we decide that guns are evil and must be banned. If a few people are disturbed then anyone holding a gun must also be disturbed. One group now feels a little safer, while the gun group starts buying guns like crazy before their rights are removed and they feel less safe. The two groups are now...can you guess?...further divided and nobody is comfortable with the new laws. 

A bad policeman’s true colors are shown and people start saying all policemen are bad. A black kid kills a cop and now all black kids are probably cop killers. Some Illegal Aliens have committed crimes so we decide that all are dangerous criminals. I shouldn't even need to say it. Further divided, nobody comfortable, and so on and so on.

              You cannot tell me that in the year 2016, we cannot use our intelligence, our creativity, and especially our compassion and find better solutions than just the reactionary stereotyping that has become so customary of late. We keep proving over and over again that the only really thing that is accomplished is that we are further and further divided. I don’t have the answers, but I do believe we are better than this.

A Picture's Worth...

I like the person I see in the mirror. Her beauty is in the eye of her creator. Her face is kind and her eyes show joy. That’s what I see most of the time; not the person I see in pictures.  I don’t like the way I look in pictures. I am not photogenic. With apologies to Tyra Banks and 231 seasons of America’s Next Top Model, I still don’t know how to work angles or the light or make the most of the frame. Lately it seems that everyone is snapping pictures. We’ve got Instagram, Snap Chat, Facebook, Twitter and the list goes on. Our phones have become an extension of our arms, and with that, so has a camera.

There have been times when I left the house thinking I looked pretty darn good. I was having a good hair day or loved my new lip gloss. I participated in activities that were meaningful. I spent hours chatting and shopping with the girls, or making Thanksgiving dinner alongside my mother, or laughing and reminiscing at the reunion, or sitting on a beach with  my husband and dog. In other words, I was doing things that truly bring joy to my heart and soul.  Then later to see the pictures, and only be able focus on some physical characteristic that I don’t love.

Well, I’m done with that. I am going to make a bigger effort to live in the moment and cherish the memories neither of which should be affected by how I looked. I love taking pictures and looking back at them, but I am no longer going to allow them to be the measure of how much the moment meant. A picture may be with worth a thousand words, but it will never have the same value as a cherished memory.

Declaration of Independence & Obamacare

So much for the peace and quiet of a fall Saturday morning. Well, it's still quiet, but the peace has been altered by our dear President and his "if you like your policy, you can keep your policy" and it will "cut the cost of a typical family's premium by up to $2,500 a year" lies. Our policy has been cancelled and will not renew at the end of this year. Today is the first day I can go see what is available (btw, thanks for a letter in Aug that makes me wait & wonder until Nov 15th to see how our budget is going to be effected!)

Apparently, we are not a typical family, which comes as a shock to no one! We, of the 2 income working, double wide living, sharing a vehicle, saving for a yearly vacation, proudly trying to stand on our own 2 (er, 4) feet variety, are going to pay for the savings of 1-2 other families. First glance of the new options shows that at best our insurance will go up $2400/year. That’s a lot more than we save for that 1 vacation a year. That’s a lot more than my much appreciated raise last year, too.

 Now, we could go check out the savings that’s offered over on the Affordable Care Act web-site. We could. Here’s the deal. I am an American.  As an American, by the grace of God and the sacrifice of our military, I have been given certain rights. Rights that I do not and will not take for granted: the right to be free from a tyrannical government, the right to make my own way in this world, the right to succeed without help from the government.

Maybe it’s stubbornness and pride that causes me to be this way. Some think being stubborn and proud is a bad thing. Then again, maybe it was stubbornness and pride that helped Thomas Jefferson pen the Declaration of Independence, or the Wright Brothers invent flight, or Rosa Parks keep her seat.

I guess, at this time, our decision is that we will pay the extra money. Not because we want to – that’s for sure. No, we will pay it because we can. We will have to make adjustments, tighten the belt as they say. Things sure won’t be easier around here. This is basically my personal declaration of independence. Thankfully, and again, by the grace of God, I do not need the government’s help. And, by my momma's good raising, I am wise enough not to follow the crowd (if everyone jumped off the bridge, etc.). Am I stubborn, prideful, or a patriot? Maybe, just maybe, I am all of the above.

What have you done for me lately?

Yesterday, our pastor and family were on vacation and so we had a "prayer & share" type service. I am usually asked to organize the group and sometimes I even try to tie it all together for a bible lesson. This week's Bible readings were: Exodus 32:1-14, Psalm 106, Philippians 4:1-9. I admit I struggled with a way tie the story of the golden calf in Exodus and Paul's closing letter to the Philippians. Prayed a little and this poem came to be:

What Have You Done for Me Lately?

Moses went up on the mountain
To have a little talk with the Lord
The people started to get antsy,
They were grouchy, impatient and bored
Now it was just a while back they'd fled Egypt
Watched Pharoh defeated quite greatly
But there at the base of the mountain,
They asked "What have You done for me lately?"

Then one day when they were hungry
Afraid that they surely would die,
They cried out to God, He sent Manna
Do you suppose they were hoping for pie?
'Cause soon enough they were unhappy,
Their whining angered the good Lord greatly
With mouthfuls of the food of the angels,
They asked, "What have You done for me lately?"

Paul wrote a letter to the Phillipians,
To acknowledge their hard work and love.
Ministering, teaching, and praising.
Sharing the Good News from above.
The group had once worked together,
But there was one thing that troubled Paul greatly,
Two angry women who couldn't let it go
Asking, "What have You done for me lately?"

You know there are times in our own lives
When things just aren't going our way.
We start with the best of intentions
But our world is just gloomy and gray.
It's in those moments we should remember,
How the Lord has blessed us so greatly.
Think on what's good and just praise him
Not ask, "What have you done for me lately?"

Carrie Oehler
10/5/14

Female Soldiers in the "War on Women"

This should gain me a lot of followers. [sarcastic snort!]

I have come to the opinion that the largest enemy in this so-called war on women is other women. We have created a War on Women within ourselves. Think about it. We have 2-3 generations of young women who somehow believe that being an airhead makes them more attractive. They have been taught that a low cut blouse and a cute little confused laugh will open doors. At the same time, we have determined that any woman who is not brilliant in her field is bringing us down. A woman who is"just" a secretary, or "just" a stay-at-home mom is somehow less than a woman who has taken on "the man". We have placed such unreasonable expectations on ourselves.  We want brilliant children, a successful career, perfectly clean and decorated homes, to be president of every volunteer organization and to run a marathon every year. Even men are shaking their heads in disbelief.

Because we believe that we are equal to men we have forgotten how to be ladies. We allow filth and garbage into our minds and spew it out as if it were not the least bit detrimental. We have allowed immodest clothing to become the status quo. Then we seem surprised that men leer or when we aren't taken seriously. We look the other way when too much skin is shown and not because of embarrassment, but because of political correctness. On one hand we have embraced a culture that says, "don't judge. Let me do my own thing. Let me express myself." While at the exact same time we can be absolutely cruel with our back-stabbing criticism of any woman who  dares not to conform to the currently accepted fashion uniform. We tear each other down like vultures. This tearing down damages a woman's confidence and sense of self-worth which perpetuates the acceptance of abuse or unfairness.

We have emasculated men using every means possible: television, commercials, litigation, playing relationship games, etc. Now we wonder where all the "real" men have gone. We have assumed roles in marriage that we were never designed to hold. Then we are angry when men don't do their part. We accept the commonality of cohabitation instead of demanding that men respect us enough to make a  covenant before God or at the very least a legal commitment.

We encouraged women to fight for the right to selfishly end a healthy pregnancy and have given little regard to the physical, mental, or emotional damage such an act can cause.  We believe that no one should tell us what to do, but we don't think for ourselves or stay informed of current issues. We end up following the herd like sheep and then when we arrive at the edge of the cliff we look for someone else to blame.

I didn't really think it was true, but there is a raging war on women.  Unfortunately, the charge is being led by women.

My Granny

My Granny has a servant’s heart

It’s the legacy she’ll leave

Many stars adorn her crown

On that you can believe.

 

Her life of serving started,

When she was still quiet young

Her mom was sick and in the bed

Leaving chores and little ones.

 

So my Granny had to grow up fast

Be strong and take the lead

Of ironing, washing, cooking

For the family she must feed

 

Then there came September

Of Nineteen Forty-One

When she said “I do”, she knew

Exactly what she’d done.

 

JW joined the Army

As the men did in that day

When he left to serve they knew

A child was on the way.

 

Next they moved to Dallas

To partake of city life

President of P.T.A.

Good mother, loving wife.

 

Life was kind of hectic

She was almost forty-one

And that is when she found out

God’s blessings were not done.

 

I guess things are different now

From how they were back then

But if family needed help,

Sometimes they just moved in.

And if they couldn’t come to her

Then she would go and stay,

Take care of them ‘til they were strong

And then be on her way.

After sixty years of marriage

Bad health put him to bed

My Granny held on dearly

To the vows she once had said.

 

So when he needed constant care

My Granny went along

The thought of living someplace else

To her, it just seemed wrong.

 

I know it seems that work, work, work

Was all she had to do,

But my Granny knew a secret

That I will share with you.

 

It’s really very simple,

You don’t have to be too smart

The secret to a happy life

Is to be a child at heart

 

So she’d play with you for hours

Cross-legged on the floor

Pretty dolls and plastic men

Great fun you can be sure

 

That’s why the kids a walking

In the from-school-to-home parade

Would often stop and have a snack

Or glass of lemonade

 

I know I won’t inherit

Fancy cars or diamond rings

But I have come to see

The best things in life aren’t things

 

Of all the gifts she gave to us

The best we could receive

Is a servant’s heart like Granny’s

That’s the legacy she’ll leave.

 

 

Carrie Oehler

2006

Organized vs. Chaos

This morning I wanted (wanted is not really the right word...) to look at the options for health insurance, since our sweet little policy did not survive the Affordable (HA!) Care Act. For the last year, we have been able to keep our old policy (at an increased rate, of course!!), but will soon have to switch over to an approved plan.

{FLASHBACK: “If you already have health insurance, the only thing that will change for you under this plan is the amount of money you will spend on premiums. That will be less.” ~ Pres. Obama} Lying, unpatriotic, immoral, self-centered jack-...but I digress.

Back to the point of this post, which is my organized chaos life, I get to the insurance website and they force me to log in. I try every combination of member ID and password I can imagine. Nope. Not. Try Again. DANG! I hate to click "forgot password". They always ask a bunch of questions I have even less of a chance of remembering than the actual password. Ugh! I finally give in. Click and wince.  I am stumped on the very first question: Member number. Now I have to go find my card, which requires digging in my purse to find my wallet, then sorting through a jillion member cards, discount offers, expired coupons, and receipts. I found it! And there, written ever so neatly on a sticky note on the back of the card, is my user name and password.

Ya know? That was a pretty good idea. Apparently, I have been down this seek and find road before. I tried to plan for the next time and be organized, but in the chaos I had forgotten. I have read books, joined on-line groups, and observed organized friends. I grasp the concept of planning and organization. I struggle with the implementation. Most of the time I don’t care (which could be part of the problem) I just accept the chaos and move on to the next fire that will need stomping. Then there are times it really makes me crazy. Those are the scary times. The times when closets get cleaned out. The times when I dig out the old label maker. The times when stores like the Container Store, Walmart, & Office Max get a little richer.

I'm not there yet, but I feel it coming. I guess I need to remember: